Couples Are Hiring Divorce Coaches to Breakup Better

The current divorce rate for first marriages in the U.S. is between 40% to 50%. That’s nearly half of all first marriages, which is heartbreaking but not quite shocking. With so many people settling down early, being unwilling to work through marital challenges, or stepping outside of their commitment to fulfill selfish needs, it’s clear why divorce rates are high today.

However, let’s make one thing clear: divorce isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s not a failure or a poor choice. If you’re unhappy, unsatisfied, or being treated poorly, and you’ve tried all you could to salvage what you once had with your partner, you shouldn’t “stick it out” just to save face.

No one—at least not anyone who is genuinely in love or seeking marriage for the right reasons, ties the knot in hopes of eventually getting a divorce. But sometimes, life happens. Whether the divorce is a result of infidelity or you simply grew apart, the process of legally separating can be brutal. It’s totally natural to crave a supportive coach to help you through it.

Thankfully, there are professionals called divorce coaches who do exactly that. 

What is a divorce coach?

A divorce coach is exactly what it sounds like: a professional who coaches you through your divorce. These individuals typically offer unique expertise, especially regarding challenges like co-parenting and legalities.

“A divorce coach can help you understand one of the first and most important decisions you will have to make,” Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D., and author of The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce, wrote in a Psychology Today article on divorce coaches. “[They] will walk the path with you, through the legal process you have chosen, to provide support and guidance when needed.”

According to The New York Times, divorce coaches typically charge between $50 to $300 per hour. Others will charge a fixed rate. 

Signs you need a divorce coach

• You’re overwhelmed by the process. Divorces can be messy and take up way too much mental space. You’re already in a vulnerable spot when separating from someone you love/loved, so working with a professional can help lessen your load.
• You don’t understand the legal procedures. The legalities involved in a divorce can be confusing—even for the most intellectual people. Not to mention, with everything else plaguing your mind, you don’t want to miss out on certain legal obligations or screw yourself over in the process. A divorce coach can guide you toward making the right choices.
• You lack emotional support. Hopefully, you have a decent support system of family and friends to help you cope with your divorce. However, even if you do, odds are your loved ones have their own lives to focus on, too. Hiring a divorce coach can give you an extra person to rely on when you’re struggling through complex feelings and grief.
• You need help communicating. Communicating with your ex can feel raw and nearly impossible at times. If you want someone to be your in-between while navigating your divorce, consider working with a coach who can take care of some of the conversations for you.

“I think it’s really important to have a personal connection with the person who’s going to be helping you,” Kira Gould, a certified divorce coach based in Los Angeles, told The New York Times. “You’re creating a team when you’re going through divorce, and you’re going to have a number of professionals helping you, but the head of the team should always be the client. This is your life, your divorce, your process.”