‘Wildflowering’ Is a Dating Trend I Can Get Behind

If you’re single and dating, consider “wildflowering.” It’s a dating trend I can actually get behind.

As dating app Bumble’s sexologist Chantelle Otten told Stylist magazine, wildflowering is “about dating freely and on your own terms.”

Millionaire Match further defined wildflowering on Medium, writing, “a mindset that encourages people to explore romantic and emotional connections openly, without the pressure of labeling everything.”

Basically, you allow yourself to grow freely—like a wildflower.

I once wrote a poem about this concept. Except, mine didn’t relate to dating. It was more about not putting yourself in a box.

The poem goes:

So when you reject your feelings,
are you not cutting your roots?
Stunting your growth?
Draining the life out of your soul?
Shedding the parts of yourself
that make you whole?

Just to be admired
like a bouquet on the table,
an expectation,
an indication of a 
special occasion.

Despite my emotions changing
by the hour,
I’d rather bloom freely
like a wildflower.

Shameless self-promotion, I guess.

BUT, what I was trying to communicate in the poem is that we often put ourselves into boxes. We try so hard to fit in, to find love, to be alluring and desirable, that we often neglect our own needs. Just like a flower cannot survive without sunshine and water, our spirits cannot survive without our basic needs being met. 

Yet, so often, we push those needs down to appear easygoing or “dateable.” And in turn, we end up dating people we’re not even truly compatible with—people who don’t even like the authentic version of ourselves. Those versions will surface eventually, by the way. You can only fight your truth, stifle your needs, for so long.

What is wildflowering in dating?

In a dating context, wildflowering involves taking it slow. Rather than rushing a commitment, you let yourself casually date around, getting to know a variety of people, while simultaneously getting to know yourself.

Don’t confuse this with searching for external validation. Wildflowering is a more intentional practice that encourages personal discovery, Millionaire Match clarified. The goal is to better understand your wants, needs, and values in a relationship—and to shamelessly embrace them.

Because why would you want to be a bouquet of cut roses? Sure, maybe you’re adored for a while, shown off on the kitchen counter. But eventually, you’ll end up wilting, submerged in dirty water, and unable to thrive.

Too many metaphors? You get the picture.

Bumble sexologist Chantelle Otten, spoke further about this dating concept—and how it pertains to springtime—with Stylist magazine.

“Spring naturally boosts our confidence, mood, and motivation to connect,” she explained. “The longer days and warmer weather lift our energy levels, making us feel more open, playful, and ready to make a move. ‘Wildflowering’ captures that perfectly—it’s about dating freely and on your own terms, embracing spontaneity and seeing where new connections might lead.”

“It’s more than just a fun phrase,” she continued. “It reflects a real psychological reset that happens as we step into this brighter, lighter season.”

But don’t mistake wildflowering for being a player. (Are we still using that term, or am I aging myself?) Wildflowering isn’t about having a bunch of situationships or rejecting the idea of exclusivity. Rather, it’s waiting until you’re confident in yourself and your partner to make that commitment.

You know what they say: Flowers need time to bloom.